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Australia According To NodeUp

I’m a fan of NodeUp, a podcast of all things Node.js-related, and a great source of thoughts/opinions from the who’s who in Node.js community.

Putting the serious stuff aside, the show has a running joke where the hosts put on their best effort to prop up Bislr, one of the show’s sponsors, by saying hilarious things about Australia. And it actually worked, us Australians (at least myself and those I know) love it, and I sure won’t forget the name Bislr for at least the next couple of years.

Here are some interesting facts about Australia… (Note: some of these are actually true)

Ep 37:

  • They’ve imported a bunch of kangaroos and maybe a wallaby or two.
  • They’ve bought these special toilets so that they free bidet with your thing, for washing your backside.
  • Australian toilets are like Portuguese toilets.

Ep 36:

  • They brought kangaroos, and boomerangs.
  • They’re issuing boomerangs to all new hires.
  • They smuggled the boomerangs in the kangaroo pouches, in the kangaroos. And probably some beer.

Ep 35:

  • Great Aussies, jumpin’ around on backs of kangaroo.
  • The Australian office is great and we love talking about Australia…
  • I’m sure that they brought at least one kangaroo with them. So there’s probably a kangaroo,  just hopin’ around the office and shitin’ everywhere.
  • You can hang out with that kangaroo in San Francisco or jump around with them in the outback in Australia.

Ep 34:

  • See what it likes to hang out with kangaroos.
  • Literally, quite literally, all baristas in Europe are from Australia.
  • With a couple sneaking in from New Zealand, but I think by way of Australia.
  • If you didn’t want to hang out with kangaroos, I don’t know why…

Ep33:

  • They have imported their kangaroos all the way back from Australia to San Francisco.

Ep 16:

  • It is sunny as always.
  • It’s in the southern hemisphere, the water spirals in a different direction in your toilet, it spirals upwards rather than downwards.
  • It’s f***** messy, it really is, you got to bring a hose.
  • Kangaroos, best transport ever.
  • It’s warm ever.
  • Boomerang, it’s pretty much how you grab things at the bar, like beer.
  • You throw boomerang, it comes back, it brings things with it.
  • Boomerang only does one point of damage, you don’t want to use it on any kind of large enemies, plus the larger enemies have shields, so it bounces right off.

Ep 15:

  • More interesting, always sunny, always beer.
  • Fairly laid back working environment.
  • They also have marshmallows.
  • Kangaroos, 1980 fashion.
  • The kangaroos bring the marshmallows for your beer while you’re at the beach.
  • It’s a small island. Its own continent by some definition.
  • Inhabitable, spiders, and snakes. Large poisonous things.

Ep 14:

  • It’s sunny, in the 80s, and there is infinite beer.

Ep 13:

  • It’s always sunny.
  • The 1980s are still going strong after 30 odd years.
  • You can ride a kangaroo to work.

Ep 12:

  • Not Austria, that’s the one with Hitler.
  • The other one, the south one, the good one, the kangaroo.
  • Hang out at the beach, ride around in kangaroos, drink beer out of garbage cans.

Ep 11:

  • We have learned about Australia from Looney Tunes.
  • You order a fish, they put a shark on the table, and a giant bucket of beer.
  • They do have buckets of bad beer at all the bars.
  • Getting a visa to Australia is incredibly easy.

Ep 10:

  • It’s just daylight all day, all day long, and all night, and it never stops.
  • It’s really warm, and there is kangaroos.

Ep 9:

  • It’s sunny, and they play table tennis down there, and drink beer.

Ep 8:

  • M****f***** Australia, kangaroos!
  • In Australia, it’s still in the 80s. So… neon.
  • The movies are still a little more awesome.
  • Sunny, warm there, good food actually.
  • Be in Australia, it’s a positive thing.
  • You can just go to Australia, it’s populated by criminals, they have kangaroos there.
  • It has fewer criminals than the United States.
  • They are commonwealth, still technically part of the theocracy.
  • They don’t like paying taxes to a country that they have nothing to do with, they are very upset about that.
  • There, they really hate the English.
  • There is a pretty active node community down there.
  • They speak English, which is not the norm for other countries.

Ep 7:

  • It’s apparently very nice there, and usually it’s sunny, in the 80s.
  • Beer flowing and table tennis in the afternoon.
  • They are pretty cool people.
  • It’s really an awesome place, specially if you like surfing or good weather.

Ep 6:

  • Beer kinda sucks in Australia, but they have kangaroo.
  • They bring you the huge giant trash can, as seen on the commercial.
  • They don’t drink Foster’s.
  • You can’t go wrong with the kangaroo.
  • They import beer from other places too, they do have Budweiser too in Australia.

Ep 4:

  • Australia is awesome.
  • They have kangaroos there, actual kangaroos.

TODO: episode 5

NOTE: No sponsor(s) on Ep 1-3.

This post will be updated with future episodes. NodeUp hosts, please keep telling the world about how awesome Australia is! :D

3 Comments

  1. true_facts

    would be cool if you put (true) next to those that are true.

  2. Hilarious ;)

    No need to put true, keep’em guessing.

    Thanks for posting this am going to have to check out the podcast now.

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